


My heart and all the fields

by tungstenpincenez



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Psychological Trauma, References to Norse Religion & Lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26033578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tungstenpincenez/pseuds/tungstenpincenez
Summary: Thanos has been defeated and prevented from carrying out his plan to halve the universe of its peoples.  As Thor wrestles with his grief and an uncertain future, he is given a glimmer of hope.
Relationships: Loki/Thor, Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this fic has been percolating for some time. But because of the pandemic of panic and subsequent lunacy that broke out over COVID-19, I couldn’t find the energy to go further with it (I’m support staff for one of the essential services to the community). If there’s anything to be learned from this worldwide incident (besides that Loki, embodiment of chaos, is alive and well), it’s the definite need for better scientific literacy and knowledge (not belief; science is not a F*ing religion).
> 
> A humble dedication to the frontline healthcare personnel who risk their lives to fulfill their duties.

_All Love asks is a heart to stay in;_  
_A brave, true heart to be glad and gay in;_  
_A garden of tender thoughts to play in;_  
_A faith unswerving through cold or heat_  
_Till the heart where Love lodges forgets to beat._  
~from Jean Blewett’s “All Love Asks”

A battle-weary Thor stumbled into his room and collapsed onto the bed. His injuries had been well attended to, but naught could heal his heart-wound. From a secret compartment beneath his breastplate, he retrieved a small pendant. Tears welled as he caressed its intricate design, crafted from the remnants of another breastplate about a lock of dark hair by the nimble fingers of Eitri subsequent the forging of Stormbreaker. He had recovered the components, his only physical mementos of his departed brother, embedded into his vambrace when he had awoken the morn following his rescue and revival by his Guardian friends. 

“Loki,” he mumbled brokenly. “Brother. Beloved. It is done. I have killed Thanos, have cleaved his arrogant head from his body. I have avenged you.” Thor sobbed. “Th-they hail me a hero for saving the universe and thwarting the blaggard’s plans. But what of it? I cannot bring you back.”

Thor’s black mood was suddenly halted by a glow emanating from the pendant. It expanded and coalesced into a form that had him gasping in disbelief.

“Hello, Thor. Brother. Beloved,” said the diaphanous form with a smile. “You have rid the universe of a great plague. It eases my heart to know I need no longer fear retribution from that spawn of Jörmungandr for my defiance.”

“Oh, Loki, if only I could have saved you from that fiend, you would be alive to share in this triumph.”

“Hush.” Loki placed a finger to Thor’s lips, which disappeared behind teeth but nonetheless effected silence. “Fear not: hope is not yet lost. Now that the imminent threat to all existence is vanquished, there is time to think on the future.” He smiled. “To that end, I have set a task for you, and should you achieve it, you will have aided me in the fulfillment of a promise.” The luminous Loki held a hand to Thor’s cheek, and though the touch was much too insubstantive, Thor nevertheless felt a warmth from the intent. “But first, you must tell me: have you retrieved the villain’s body and secured it?”

Thor blinked. “The Princess Shuri has contained it within a vault. And”—Thor’s eyes widened in sudden understanding.—“I heeded your whispered instructions to cleave his hand from the body and had the princess store it in a separate container. I thought I had gone momentarily mad to thus hear your voice in my mind, but now I see that you have been guiding me ever since I landed upon Midgard.”

Loki grinned and nodded. “There was a time when you would scarcely heed my counsel. I am glad you have learned. We must proceed with caution. Thanos may be defeated, but the Infinity Stones survive and may yet complete Thanos’ plans so long as they remain gathered.”

“But… but the gauntlet has disappeared! It was not upon the battlefield when we retrieved the body for safe-keeping.”

“I managed to borrow a part of your strength to cast an illusion upon the hand as you struck the fatal blow. Now that the severed hand is secured, you must call an assembly of delegates from every known realm and region to decide how best to separate and contain the Stones. None must be allowed to safeguard more than one, and strong, binding oaths must be sworn.” 

Thor nodded. “I will see it done.” He reached for Loki’s hand and let out a groan of frustration when he failed to grasp it. “I have missed you, brother.”

Loki, who had let slip a look of longing at Thor’s failed attempt to touch him, motioned a caress of his brother’s cheek and said, “And I you. Though I have been thus nestled close to your heart, I wish to _feel_ you. I wish a revival of my body so that I may hold you. A wisp of hair and a magical emanation are hardly sufficient for such an undertaking, but they were all that I could spare during my… conversation with Thanos.”

“Do you intend that I use the gauntlet to revive you?”

“No!” Loki said vehemently. “And you must swear that you will not be tempted. If you do so, others will follow in your stead, and you risk reviving those who should remain dead or, worse, the creation of ones even more unsavoury.”

“Then how—”

“I have devised a quest for you: find the answers to three questions and gather the materials indicated by the responses.”

“But how—”

Loki rolled his eyes at being interrupted and Thor obediently subsided. Loki continued. “Think on our lore. The Midgardians may be a fractured peoples, but they do possess some wisdom. This is a quest, thus you cannot apply to me for aid.” Thor nodded in assent. He continued. “Now, for each of the questions, you must seek three whom you judge to best supply the answers. The questions are as follows: what constitutes a man? What is life and, of course, death? What is love through adversity?” Loki cocked his head. “Need I repeat them?”

Thor huffed and glared. Loki grinned, lightly tracing his thumb across Thor’s lips.

“I will, naturally, be observing your progress. Do not set about this task in your usual haste, _elskr_.”

“I shall not fail you, _hjarta minn_.”

Loki smiled and his luminous form faded, slowly dissipating and returning to the safety of the pendant. Thor pressed a lingering kiss and restored with care the precious piece to its nook.


	2. Chapter 2

For the next several days, as he went about restoring the ravaged lands of Wakanda with his friends, Thor thought on his quest. And as he regarded those with whom he had survived the recent battle, he pondered their suitability to furnish him an adequate response.

As he engulfed his midday meal, he felt a presence and looked into the kind eyes of the Queen Mother. 

“You are troubled, my lord.” At Thor’s look of surprise, she said, “My husband used to wear such an expression of worry, and like you, he often ate his meal without knowing what it was. You will choke if you force your napkin down further.”

Thor shamefacedly extracted the half-consumed cloth from his mouth. The Queen Mother’s expression did not change. Instead, she extended a hand and said, “Come, walk with me. If I may ease your burden, I would be most honoured.”

As they traversed the grounds, Thor explained in halting words the nature of his quest and the importance to him of returning his brother to the land of the living. 

When they paused at the edge of a cliff, the Queen Mother turned and said softly, “I understand what it is like to lose ones who are most beloved. I have managed to have my son returned to me. If I were given the means to revive my husband, I would not hesitate.” At Thor’s expression, she gave a smile and said, “He was more than a brother you loved and lost. You need not deny it. And I do not judge you nor think you wrong. It is a gift to have found one that you can love for eternity.”

Thor blushed but no longer attempted to protest. After a moment’s hesitation, he said, “My brother posed three questions, their answers which would supply me the materials I need to revive him. I would seek your wisdom for one of them.”

The Queen Mother nodded assent, her gesture so familiar that Frigga’s face flashed briefly before Thor’s eyes. He intook a breath and asked, “Majesty, can you tell me what constitutes a man?”

The Queen Mother looked thoughtful and was silent for several moments. She turned to look across the lands below, at the warriors training, at the fieldhands tilling the soil, at the guards patrolling the borders of the royal grounds. Finally, she said, almost dreamily, “A man is a complex being. He is full of contradictions. He can be wise and yet act foolishly. He can be kind but capable of cruelty. He loves and he hates. He is often proud, but he can be taught humility, and if he submits to learning from his struggles and his failures, he will be gifted patience and compassion.” She sighed and seemed to come out of her reverie. She looked at Thor. “Most important of all: a man is one capable of love and of being loved. And if he has love, he need not fear anything.”

Thor gaped but soon recovered himself. He bowed. “I thank you for such insight into the very essence of man’s nature. We are indeed full of contradictions. And follies. I… I shall need to think on your words. May I escort you to the palace?”


	3. Chapter 3

It was one month afore The Avengers felt they had adequately assisted in repairing the damage wrought during the battle with Thanos and his ilk. Upon the landing field, T’Challa, the Queen Mother, and the Princess Shuri, accompanied by a small faction of the Dora Milaje, bade them farewell and safe journeys. 

Upon reaching the New Avengers Facility, they successfully contacted Pepper and discovered that Stark and the others had not returned. Despite some initial disputes, it was finally agreed that contacting Fury was necessary in order to access sufficient intelligence and resources to locate their missing friends as well as to monitor the reactions of the shadow communities to the news of Thanos’ attack and defeat. 

When Fury arrived with Agent Hill and they were briefed on events, Fury offered to locate Stark and the others through a contact “who lives somewhere out in space.” He soon received communication that his contact had located the missing individuals upon Titan and that they were _en route_ to the facility. Within two minutes of the communication, said contact stepped out of the portal created by Dr Strange. She introduced herself as Carol.

When he saw all who had gathered, Stark quipped, “This isn’t a refugee camp. I should start charging all of you rent!” He soon disappeared within the embrace of his friends.

The evening meal was spent relaying the adventures of the different groups. Of most interest were those of Carol, as she was the least known to the assembly, and both Thor and the Guardians asked for news of various realms of significance to themselves; the Midgardians received an education in universal politics that left a few quite thoughtful, and they began to comprehend the difficulty of having all the Infinity Stones in their possession. They knew that any decision made about the Stones’ fate could not be decided by Midgardians alone, and if the politics were thus fractious upon one planet, it would be contentious by multiple degrees across the universe. It had been tacitly agreed that the discussion about the Stones would not begin until everyone had had the chance to take stock of their situation. 

The loss of Heimdall and Loki and many of the fallen Asgardians and Midgardians by Thanos’ hand still prominent in his thoughts, Thor proposed a toast in their memory. In the ensuing silence, Pepper hesitantly offered to arrange a memorial for them. Both Thor and the Starlord thanked her for her kindness. Nebula had earlier revealed her assumption of Gamora’s tragic demise, for it was the only explanation for Thanos’ successful acquisition of the Soul Stone. Thor had felt a twinge of envy toward the Starlord, for although he understood the depth of Quill’s grief, those gathered were unfamiliar with Gamora and were therefore saddened by her loss. Loki was not beloved by these friends and was thus not so warmly lamented.

After the meal, Thor slipped away to the rooftop of the Facility, and as he stared upwards to the myriad of stars and distant civilizations, he reminisced of his travels with his brother across the nine realms, he in search of adventure and his brother of knowledge. He felt keenly the loss of Loki’s sharp mind and glib tongue. Thor must soon take up the mantle of kingship of a displaced and diminished people, and he doubted his ability to rule them without his brother by his side. Loki’s presence had always been presumed. 

Thor reluctantly withdrew to his chambers when the bite of the evening air could no longer be ignored.

*~*~*~*

Sobs wracked Thor’s frame as he knelt prostrate upon the field, his fists beating helplessly against the vegetation. He had been asked to prepare a list of names of the fallen, to be read at the memorial and honoured. He and Loki had not had time to perform the proper funerary rites for Odin once Hela had appeared, and as his father’s name faltered across his lips, the pain had been overwhelming. And now, he wept for the loss of his family, for his father, his mother, his brother, and also for Asgard, his home no longer.

*~*~*~*

The discussion pertaining to the ultimate fate of the Infinity Stones soon descended into unintelligible shouting. While it was quickly agreed that they should not be destroyed because so little was known of their nature and effects upon the universe’s continued existence, little else could be settled.

Strange had been adamant that the Time Stone be returned to his guardianship for it was a vital tool in his role as Sorcerer Supreme and protector of Midgard. Carol had argued that to be Earth-centric was no longer viable as the Stones wielded powers that affected all of the universe, so unless Strange was willing to oversee the protection of all realms therein, his assertion did not signify. The assembled Midgardians had taken umbrage to this, and Stark had named her traitor to her own people. 

Being the only ones other than Thor to have lived in and travelled to places beyond Midgard, Carol, the Guardians, and Nebula had also argued for the exclusion of certain peoples from eligibility of guardianship. Rocket and Quill had insisted upon thorough interrogation of each realm invited to the talks to ensure they had no prior or continued affiliation with Thanos. There was also a great debate as to the location of said talks.

The Captain, Banner, and the recently-restored Vision had attempted to negotiate peace but had been met with hostility. Rhodey had managed to temporarily put pause to the rising agitation by asking for a map of the known realms; Wilson and Barnes had offered to acquire the materials to begin sketching. The Midgardians had been stunned into silence when presented with the completed drawings, several overlapping layers that depicted the different planes of civilized life across the vast universe. Barton had thrown up his arms and stalked away. T’Challa had muttered about needing to urgently communicate with his sister and also departed. 

Pepper and Agent Hill took the opportunity to call for a needed break. They would all convene in three hours.

When they gathered once more, Romanoff stood and warned that they must all maintain civility and calm, else face consequences. She had enlisted the aid of the young Parker and of Maximoff to use their powers to subdue. Before the others could protest, the witch cast a charm that sealed their lips and rendered them immobile. Even Strange failed to break free of her spell. A more restrained discussion ensued. 

Armed now with a map of the known realms, they attempted to choose a location to host said talks. Eventually having compiled the long list of peoples to invite to the talks, the Guardians and Carol were charged with delivering invitations across the worlds. The Captain was given the more dangerous task of informing the United Nations that Strange, T’Challa, and Romanoff would represent Midgard in the talks and be accompanied by Quill, Rocket, Nebula, Carol, and Thor.

The moon was high upon the night sky when they finally disbanded.


	4. Chapter 4

_Even though his screams were muffled by the metal bindings, the searing anger of his heart and the roaring in his mind were threatening to blind him as he looked helplessly on. At Loki, struggling in mid-air within the fiend’s grasp._

(BANG! BANG!)

_As Loki choked for breath, another monster materialized behind him: Malekith’s champion. Alas, Loki was defenceless. Thor watched in horror as the monster lifted his blade and sliced through Loki’s torso._ (Thor! Wake up!) _Thanos released his hold, and Loki hung limply, impaled on the sword. His body was cast upon the ground as the beasts blinked out of sight._

(Thor! It’s a nightmare! Thor!)

_His bindings no longer imprisoning him, Thor broke free and crawled, wracked with sobs, toward the motionless body._

_But before he could reach his brother, the floor gave way, and he screamed as Loki disappeared into the Void. A blinding light overwhelmed his vision and he braced for impact against the glass of the spaceship…_

Thor was jolted to sudden consciousness. He coughed, his throat raw from yelling. As he blinked confusion and sleep from his eyes, he saw Tony Stark slowly remove an armoured palm from his chest, the glowing circle fading. Ah, it seemed Stark had used a blast of his powers to awaken Thor.

“Hey Thor, buddy, you okay?” 

Thor opened his mouth but did not know what to say. He was not “okay”. But the worried expressions of not only Stark but his other friends who must have been roused by his bellowing needed reassurance. “I am… I apologize that I have awoken you, my friends.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and huffed. “Never mind that! Do you, I dunno, want something to help you sleep? Without the… dreams?” 

Thor shook his head. Even if he had to endure the trauma of Loki’s death for an eternity, he would bear it to have _some_ reminder of his brother’s valiance, of the depth of his love. 

“Well, if you’re sure.” The Captain rubbed his face. “You’re due to board the spaceship in about three hours. Need to be on top form to meet with all the bigwigs. Just… try and conserve your energy. We’ll... let you get a few more winks.”

*~*~*~*

As Natasha Romanoff recounted to the assembly what had transpired, how they had defeated Thanos (with a holographic image of the body and that of his minions being burnt to ash upon a desolate field), and the purpose of this meeting, Thor frowned at the gauntlet, severed hand still attached, clutched in his lap. It was his right, as the one who had struck the fatal blow, to claim it as his prize, but there was no feeling of victory in his heart. Only an aching loss.

Thor was brought out of his brooding by the roar of the crowd. Every representative from every region and realm across the universe was shouting justification for why their people should be the new Keepers of one of the Infinity Stones and arguing against another’s claim.

Thor sighed. When the fate of the Stones had been discussed, it had been agreed that they could not all remain in Midgard and that they should not fall into the hands of any one person, no matter their goodness. The temptation was too great. But if a collective guardianship could be found and the final locations of each Stone known to every being in the universe, then a truce could be ensured. Or at least enforced.

Looking on at the mixed expressions of fear, anger, and desire, Thor’s wish to have Loki alive and at his side became overwhelming. His crafty brother would know how to sway the crowd. Thor had seen his brother subdue a band of angry Vanir warriors with words alone and convince them to gift him the tail of the Brunnmigi that he had originally stolen from them. 

When the clamour would not die, Thor grew impatient. He lifted Stormbreaker and called a bolt of lightning to him. Across the makeshift hall on this unnamed planet deemed neutral ground, silence reigned. 

Sighing, Thor stood. “It is a difficult decision. Not one that can be reached in one day. We shall continue the discussion upon the morrow, when you have had opportunity to think over the matter.”

He stalked off toward the spaceship that was the temporary Midgardian abode.


	5. Chapter 5

Thor gave a startled shout when he entered his sleeping quarters and found someone within. He had automatically reached for Stormbreaker but paused when he glimpsed her brief expression of grief before the person jumped and spun around. It was Nebula. He gave a sigh in relief that it was not yet another individual from one of the realms intent on acquiring the gauntlet. Were it so, it would be the third such attempt since the first day of talks. 

The initial attack had been a stealthy one under the cover of darkness that same night. Thankfully, Natasha had had the foresight to keep watch while the others slumbered. She had sounded the alarm. Thor had managed to deal with the intruders single-handedly, rendering them unconscious by judicial use of his lightning. The others had secured the intruders and upon the morrow, they had called a meeting wherein the captives were presented before all the realms and an explanation demanded of the Xartan ambassador. He had decried knowledge of the plot and declared the captives as belonging to rebels intent on overthrowing their state council, and he had pleaded clemency for his realm, that they might still remain for the talks. The majority had agreed, although Xarta would have to forgo the right to be one of the keepers. As a show of good will, the ambassador had offered to remove himself from the talks to bring the rebels home and have a colleague return in his stead.

As Nebula stared at him in shock and fear, she dropped the object clutched to her bosom: the gauntlet.

Thor shut his mouth with a snap and the door firmly behind him. Before he could demand an explanation, there was a knock upon the door, and Rocket’s voice emitted through it. “Hey, Thor, everything okay?”

Still glaring at Nebula, Thor replied, “I am fine. I tripped on some clothing that I had forgotten to put away.”

“Not used to picking up after yourself, eh, your royal majesty-ship? Haha! No better time to learn than now!” His laughter faded into the distance.

Thor breathed another sigh of relief and then, in as level a voice possible, asked, “And what may you be wanting with the gauntlet, Nebula? Are you allied with the Badoons and come to succeed where their attack upon us also failed?” His eyes narrowed at a sudden thought. “Or perhaps _you_ wish to possess it?”

Nebula wiped away the tears that streaked her face, and Thor blinked in surprise for having failed to notice them. “I’m not here to steal it. For anyone. I don’t want anything to do with it.” She opened and closed her mouth several times, as if wishing to explain but feeling her explanation inadequate to justify her actions. Finally, she said, in a tight voice, “I’m sorry for having intruded. You have my word that it won’t happen again.”

She stepped forward and her expression became hardened and defiant when she realized that Thor would not allow her passage. Raising her clenched fists, she said, “If a fight is the only way I can leave, then go ahead. But not here: Rocket will be really pissed off if we damage the ship.”

Thor regarded her solemnly before saying, “You remind me of Loki. His instinct always was to show aggression when caught in a moment of vulnerability.” He sighed. “I believe that you do not want the gauntlet for personal aims, for I have never seen you look upon it with desire as others have. But may I ask the reason you have stolen into my quarters to merely gaze upon it?”

Nebula’s glaring look dissipated as she lowered her eyes and wrapped her arms protectively about herself. She turned hastily away, but not before Thor saw fresh tears. “Please, don’t ask.” Her shoulders began to tremble.

Without considering the outcome, Thor moved and embraced her. She stiffened but soon gave into her emotions, sobbing into Thor’s broad chest. Thor drew soothing circles across her back. 

Finally, as she calmed, she pushed away, and with a hiccoughing stutter, said, “I’m sorry. Please, just let me go.”

Thor grasped her chin and forced her eyes to meet his. “It is I who must apologize for increasing your sorrow. I shall leave you to compose yourself. Please return the gauntlet to its place of safety and shut the door upon exiting.”

As he turned to leave, he felt her hand upon his arm. He looked at her in surprise. 

“I miss him. That’s why I wanted the gauntlet. I hate him and I hate myself for missing him. He stole me from my family, and he always favoured Gamora. And I feel so… so _angry_ at him for this feeling that I failed him. He killed my sister, and I wanted so much to strangle him and see him breathe his last. But the part of me that doesn’t hate him wishes I could’ve saved him from death.” Her face twisted in pain and disgust.

Thor placed his hands upon her shoulders and mirrored her look of anguish. “He was your father. No matter the wrong choices he made that he thought were best for his family, his people, his kingdom, he was first and foremost your father. And you loved him. He had to be killed before he killed millions more, but you are right to grieve him as any dutiful daughter would. It is difficult to realize that your father is in the end only a man, one with the weaknesses of pride and hubris. But just as they forgive us our follies, so we must forgive them theirs.”

Nebula stared up at him, slack-jawed. Thor gave her a sorrowful smile of understanding, gently wiped her tears, and stepped out of the quarters, shutting the door quietly behind him.

*~*~*~*

Although no longer surprised that the talks continued to be naught but a continuous argument as to each region’s right to guard the Stones and distrust of another to not wield them for gain and glory, Thor wearied of the discussions. He was strongly reminded of the dull Asgardian council meetings he had been forced to attend as a youth as part of his education as potential ruler. Loki had also attended, although he fared better, often daring to speak out in contradiction of a counsellor’s argument. Thor smiled in bittersweet remembrance. Loki had never dared challenge their father (although he would often rant afterward in the privacy of their shared common area), yet his assertions were also not hastily dismissed by Odin. It was Loki’s adeptness at court that had motivated Thor to seek victory upon the battlefield; warriors gained the respect of the people and he could thus show that he was also worthy of leadership. Thor sighed. The contest for kingship seemed so foolish now. And how he wished Loki were at his side. But he was comforted that he could soon achieve this desire. It was all that kept his frustrations at bay.

He was interrupted by the sounds of weapons being drawn. He quickly stood and raised Stormbreaker. The cacophony ceased as sparks emitted from his weapon. “It seems that a war council has been assembled rather than one for peaceful negotiation. Return to your homelands and bring the matter to your peoples; report on what little progress has been made. Think on your abilities to safeguard but not wield—and prevent others from wielding—the Stone placed in your possession for an eternity. It is not a responsibility to be taken upon lightly. We shall convene in one month. Tell your leaders to choose better representatives, ones able to understand that maintaining an unharmed universe for all far outweighs dominance of it by the few. I shall return with the Stones to Midgard. Know that my friends and I will be on guard for invasion. Any who defy this edict will find themselves ostracized and all previously established trade relations forfeit. I _would_ see to the destruction of the Stones if you will not see reason. Asgard was doomed by my hand to prevent my ruthless sister from once again placing all the realms under its yoke; do not provoke me.”

The crowd dispersed with much reluctance and mutterings, but as none had successfully gained possession of the gauntlet, they could only obey. 

As previously agreed, Thor and his friends took Thanos’ ashes and buried them on Titan. Upon their return to Midgard, the gauntlet was brought to the Princess Shuri and the Stones once more removed and stored separately under heavy enchantments cast over them by both Thor and Dr Strange as added precaution. 

Thor then informed his friends that he would needs be briefly absent in order to bring the remainder of his people to safety. He had reunited with his cousin while at the failed talks, and he was to journey to Vanaheim, the land of his mother’s people, to beg sanctuary for the Asgardian refugees. He would also take the gauntlet to Nidavellir, to be destroyed. Rocket supplied him with a small communication device with which they could alert him of any attack upon Midgard. 

Thor’s search for the Valkyrie and escaped Asgardians proved fruitful, as was his plea for sanctuary. His uncle graciously welcomed them to Vanaheim and offered all resources at his disposal to both settle Thor’s people and assist them when they had chosen a new home on which to rebuild. 

His burden thus lessened, Thor gratefully returned to Midgard. His arrival was timely, as The Sovereign chose not to heed his warning and were intent on taking possession of the Stones. They had not yet gained a foothold upon Midgard and Thor soon incapacitated them through judicious, if violent, use of his powers as the God of Thunder. He and the Guardians returned the corpses to The Sovereign’s new abode, quelled any remaining resistance and killed their leader, and brought the surviving members to a remote but habitable primitive planet to start anew, although without means to communicate beyond their new home. 

An intergalactic notice was sent out of The Sovereign’s fate.

Midgard suffered no further threats.

*~*~*~*

But while new attacks from without were absent, conflict still arose within Midgard.

Two groups of Wakandans came forth to challenge T’Challa’s rule by traditional one-on-one combat. Over the course of seven days, T’Challa faced three challengers and defeated them but suffered grievous though non-fatal wounds from the last, which was an assassination attempt; the man only intended that T’Challa perish with him.

Thor quickly brought the Asgardian Head Healer, Eir, from Vanaheim to assist in tending to T’Challa. Eir astonished the Wakandan wise women with the briskness of her healing methods, and she remained for some days to share her skills. 

When T’Challa was allowed visitors, among his first was Thor. The Wakandan King warmly expressed his gratitude. Thor smiled and pointed out that he felt a responsibility, the presence of the Stones bringing unnecessary risk to Wakanda’s safety. T’Challa demurred.

Thor then asked, with some hesitation, if T’Challa had previously survived another such attempt upon his life. He explained having seen a look of terror upon the Queen Mother’s face when T’Challa had been rescued from the cliff of the waterfall, where he had been clinging to some protruding rocks. T’Challa nodded and told the tale of his cousin’s attempt to usurp the throne.

Thor shook his head at the conclusion of the tale. “Ever does the kingship create foes of kin.”

T’Challa sighed and nodded in agreement. “And yet conflict and fights for power still exist in the Western world’s democracy. Where there is a hierarchy, there must always be war. I sometimes wish I could have remained in that realm of peace where my father resides.”

“Your concept of life beyond the living is more familiar to me than that which the Lady Pepper has told me of the Heaven that many Midgardians believe in.”

T’Challa grinned. “I, too, found the Christian belief system strange when I first learned of it.” He tilted his head in contemplation when told of Valhalla. “I do not know that I would be happy to have to fight every day of my eternal existence, but we Wakandans also have a proud warrior tradition, so I understand how it would be seen as a desired paradise.”

Thor smiled ruefully. “In my youth, I thought it the most glorious afterlife possible. But having survived many battles… and… and so many painful losses, I, too, do not see it as a pleasurable way to spend an eternity.” He sighed. “I begin to understand why my father chose to suppress the truth of Asgard’s bloodied origins, though I do not yet comprehend his need to lie about our family. The price of these lies I yet suffer and do not know how to make amends.”

T’Challa clasped Thor’s shoulder in commiseration. “My father’s actions toward his brother I, too, struggle with. My mother has tried to explain that kingship requires sacrifice and being forced to make the most difficult decisions. Perhaps I have yet to face the choice between two wrong options. Although I would rather give my life than bring any harm to my sister.”

Thor nodded emphatically.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. A nervous apprentice shaman entered and bowed. “I’m sorry for disturbing your majesties, but the Doyenne says it is time for the King’s rehabilitation exercises. I must escort His Majesty.”

Thor stood and offered his shoulder. T’Challa gratefully leaned against his fellow regent as they were led to the gymnasium.


	6. Chapter 6

Eir smiled in surprise at her visitor. “Majesty, to what do I owe this pleasure?” She then frowned. “You have not injured yourself in another foolish jousting match?”

Thor shook his head and she sighed in relief. She raised her brow as he stood rocking his weight from one foot to the other, uncertain of how to pose his question.

“My prince?” she coaxed in the kindly tone with which she had addressed him when he was young and had shuffled into the Healing Rooms with the sheepish expression of one who had gotten hurt but was embarrassed to reveal both the cause and the location of the injury.

“Eir, you have healed my brother and I countless times through the years.” At her encouraging nod, he continued. “What say you are Loki’s defining traits?”

Eir blinked. “Well, my prince, mischief certainly comes immediately to mind. A determination to seem invincible. He was even harder to convince than you to reveal the nature of his injuries, and they were often more grievous as he kept them hidden for longer. When he was young enough, the Queen could compel him to visit the Healing Rooms, but as he grew, there were times when either the All-father or she would needs constrain him with magic and have him brought to me.” She shook her head at the memories. “Loki was clever, though that got him—and you—into many a scrape.” She tilted her head in thought. “If I had to choose his best trait, it would be that he was insightful. He observed the world around him, studied it, and tried to understand how it functioned. He could see into the hearts and minds of many much older and more shrewd than he.” She sighed. “If only… but never mind. In the end, he revealed his true nature to be one of good.”

Thor smiled and patted the secretted pendant, which was vibrating slightly. _In indignation_ , Thor thought fondly. Aloud, he said, “Thank you, Eir. I think you have described Loki exactly.”

“May I ask the purpose of such an inquiry, my lord?” When she had heard the tale, she smiled. “He deserves another chance to be among the living. He gave renewed hope to us when we thought Asgard lost. If you but stay to listen to your people, you will hear naught but their gratitude toward our lost prince.” She placed a hand on his arm. “Majesty, when you build his new body, do not hide his true form.” At his look of wariness, she raised a brow and gave him a stern look. “I have been his healer ever since Odin brought him home. I have always known of his Jötunn heritage; how else could I have properly treated the ailments he suffered?” Her features softened at Thor’s abashment. “The land of Asgard is no more; should not this rift with Jötenheim be finally mended? But for the timely intercession you and your warrior friends made against the Mad Titan, the lives of many across the universe could have been lost. Surely it is time to start anew?”

Thor smiled and nodded. “And I will ensure that Loki be not ashamed of his true form, if I must have him bound to the bed to hear reason.” He gasped at a sudden memory. “He always suffered of the heat, even afore the height of summer.”

“He did indeed. And he never suffered of the cold as you and others of the Aesir. Recall you the incident where you and Loki succumbed to fever and I treated your brother by placing him upon a large block of ice? I had my apprentices steal into Jötenheim through a portal only known to the royal Healers to retrieve it. Loki was healed within a day. When you insisted on the same treatment, you suffered a terrible head cold for a sennight.”

Thor laughed. “I had forgot that incident. How came a portal to be established between Asgard and Jötenheim?”

“We used it to forage for rare medicinal plants only found in that land.”

“Ah.” 

Eir murmured something Thor could not catch and turned toward her bookshelf; she retrieved a small volume and pressed it into Thor’s hands. “One of the few tomes that I managed to save from Asgard. The royal bard had his most well-known ballads printed and bound, and he presented the first copy to me in thanks for healing a minor chill he had caught after falling asleep out of doors from too much revelry. Within, you will find two ballads that recount the story of how the peoples of the universe were first formed, particularly Ymir, from whom the Jötnar are descended. As in the tales, the creation of Loki’s body need only be symbolic, else you would need the fertile essences of both his sire and dame. Even if you were to desecrate their graves for their essences, it will not ensure that an exact image will be formed; we are all unique creations.”

“I possess a lock of his hair.”

Eir smiled in surprised delight. “Then that is all you will require. Remember, Majesty, that the God of Thunder is also the bringer of rainstorms and therefore springtime and life.”

Thor startled Eir with a firm embrace in thanks.

*~*~*~*

Bruce looked up at the sound of knocking. “Oh, hey, Thor! What are you doing in the lab?”

Thor entered and stood, shifting his weight awkwardly, uncertain of how to make his request. He was very cognisant of his friends’ understandable wariness (if not forthright hostility) of Loki.

“Something wrong, Thor?”

“I… seek your assistance in a personal matter.”

“O-kay.”

Thor inhaled deeply. “I wish to revive my brother.”

“Wh—I thought he died on that—are you saying he faked his death again?!”

“No, he truly died… he sacrificed his life to save mine. But he… he left a small part of himself with me, and I wish to form a body so that he may be fully returned to the realm of the living.”

“Oh my god, you want to Frankenstein him! I don’t—look, I know he’s not really that crazy monster that tried to destroy New York, but—geez, Thor, I don’t know if it’s a good idea—”

“Banner, I realize that Loki is not beloved by many, but I am willing to explain to the Midgardians of his enslavement by Thanos and of his role in the Mad Titan’s defeat.”

Bruce paused in his pacing and frantic clutching of his hair and said, “What do you mean? I thought _you_ killed Thanos.” 

“I dealt the blow that ended his life, yes, but I could not have done it without Loki’s assistance. My brother channelled a small amount of my energy and held fast Thanos’ hand, preventing him from wielding the gauntlet. It was upon his advice that I severed the hand after the battle was won.”

Bruce stared, slack-jawed. “W-well… that’s… okay, I need to sit down.” He intook several breaths and finally said, “Look, Thor, I get why you wanna bring him back. We’ve all lost people we love. But seriously, I think you should probably run this by the rest of the team—”

“I do not require your permission to revive Loki. If you will not aid me, then I will find another realm that will.”

“Wait, wait…” Bruce clutched his head once again. He muttered and paced, but finally said, “Okay, okay. I’m not really the one calling the shots and I really don’t wanna be there when the big-wigs find out about your Lazurusing. But if you’re dead set on bringing Loki back to life, then doing it here is better than”—He gestured vaguely toward the skies.—“somewhere out there.” He intook another breath. “So, what do you need to play Dr Frankenstein? I’m assuming you know what to do?”

Thor blinked. “I—I do not have detailed instructions as such. I hoped you might provide some insight. And who is this doctor of whom you speak?” His brow furrowed. “He is not another mad one as that Doom nuisance?”

“Oh, right, you wouldn’t’ve read the book. I’ll… see if I can find a copy. So, you’re saying you don’t know _how_ to bring Loki back to life? You know, _I’ve_ never done any human cloning. I mean, I know the _theory_ behind it, but I haven’t actually, you know, grown a human in a petri dish.”

“I have been reading on our creation lore, and it is said that the first being, Ymir, from whom we are all descended, was created of melted ice from the void betwixt Niflheim and Muspelheim.”

“So, you want to carve a Loki-esque body from a block of ice and somehow embed his bit of soul into it?”

Thor pondered. “It is true that he is of Jötunn descent. I would needs quarry the ice from Jötenheim. But surely, there are other components I must gather.”

“Well, humans are composed mostly of oxygen, hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus, oh, and a bunch of other trace elements. I’ll have to look up the exact list. But I don’t know if that’s the same for you Asgardians. Creation myths aren’t always reliable when it comes to actual body composition, you know. I mean, our ancestors didn’t know anything about DNA. We only discovered it in the last hundred years or so.”

Thor huffed in frustration. “Your words have merit. The Aesir and Jötnar are different peoples, although there must be sufficient similarity that they have successfully bred. I shall speak with Eir.” 

He left abruptly. Bruce stared after his retreating back.

*~*~*~*

“Ah, Majesty, you have returned. Have you understood your task?” Eir smiled as she received the tome from Thor.

“I have and have spoken to my healer friend. He has asked if Midgardians and the Jötnar share sufficient similarities of form as to utilize compositional materials he may provide to construct a body for Loki.”

“Ah, that is indeed an important consideration. Our lore indicates that Midgardians were formed of wooden logs adrift upon the sea. But creation stories are necessarily more intent on symbolism than literal truth. And having treated your Midgardian companion, Jane Foster, I feel the differences inconsequential so that use of those materials supplied by your friend will not produce adverse results. Loki’s essence will make the necessary adjustments, I’m sure.”

“Is there aught I must needs know of the Jötnar to revive my brother?”

Eir was silent in thought for a moment, then said, “The Jötnar possess both sexual forms. They may both beget and birth.”

Thor inhaled sharply. “Then Loki must have known—”

Eir shook her head. “The Queen and I hid the truth from him. Her majesty wished to protect him from the anguish of learning that he was different. When his bloods first arrived, his male form prevented their release. He suffered great abdominal pains. We used magics and leeches to draw the blood.”

A look of comprehension dawned upon Thor’s face. “There were days with every moon cycle when I could never discover his whereabouts…”

Eir sighed and nodded. “He did not understand the pains, thinking them a weakness. He would seek sanctuary in a secret room in her majesty’s chambers to receive healing. Perhaps if he had known…” She shook her head and sighed again. “Regrets must be buried alongside the past. I will explain all to him when he has been restored.”

“Thank you, Eir. I will bring him to you—bound, if so required.”

Eir smiled. “You need only create the outer casing, into which you may add your materials. His highness’ magics and abilities will be sufficient to arrange the bones, musculature, sinews, and vital organs to his own needs and preference.”

Thor once again embraced Eir in thanks.

*~*~*~*

“Oh, Thor, you’re back. I guess you had a talk with, um, your friend?”

Thor nodded. “Eir has been my healer and Loki’s ever since we were boys. And she was present when we brought Jane to Asgard for healing. Upon my insistence, she has searched her memory and her notes, and she has provided me with a list of components that I shall require. It has taken some time, but she and her assistants have discovered the names by which Midgardians use for these items.” 

He handed a scroll of parchment to Bruce. Bruce read through the list and then retrieved a large book. After making a comparison, he nodded. “So, essentially the same elements. And I’m guessing about the same proportions. Her list doesn’t say how much, though.”

Thor looked perplexed. “How much?”

“According to this textbook—good thing Strange kept his med school books—based on an average adult human, we’re about 65% oxygen, 18% carbon, 10% hydrogen, and 7% nitrogen and all the rest. But that’s just the average. If you can tell me how much Loki weighed, then I’d be able to calculate how much of each element to have shipped to the lab.”

“I do not know. Loki has always been slighter than me—although it is not a measure of his strength,” he added hastily, glancing down to his chest.

Bruce sighed. “Okay, how about we look at it this way: I think, of all The Avengers excluding you, Steve would be the best yardstick for comparison. So, if you were to compare Steve to Loki, how much heavier would Loki be?”

Thor pondered. “When I used to spar with Loki, I would needs exert one-third of my strength in order to subdue him. I only require one-ninth to subdue Rogers.”

“Right, basic physics, force is equal to mass times acceleration. Let me do some calculations.” He wrote figures into a tablet. He asked a few more questions about Loki’s dimensions (body measurements, metabolic rate, heart rate, average body temperature), and Thor responded as best he could, not quite understanding the specificities of Bruce’s queries. 

After a moment, Bruce shook his head. “These don’t make sense. Listen, Thor, can you tell me where to find your healer? I’ll ask her myself and get her to check that my numbers make sense. Check in with me tomorrow?”

When Thor appeared once again at the lab, Bruce greeted him with a smile. “Okay, I talked with Eir through the portal that Dr Strange created, and we think we’ve got the right proportions. I just put in the order and I’ll let you know when the stuff arrives.”

“I thank thee, Banner.” 

“Don’t thank me yet. This is just the materials. How you make a living, breathing Loki out of them is something I can’t even guess at, especially if you’re not starting at the cellular level.”

“Eir assures me that the lock of hair will be sufficient.”

“Oh! You didn’t say anything about—is it a full strand of hair or just some cut ends? Because if you have the whole strand, that’s your DNA right there. And then, I guess, just that spark of life. Wow, this really is becoming a real-life Frankenstein story.”

“I have heard you speak of this Frankenstein in a past conversation, yet I know not the meaning.”

“Oh right, I said I would find the book.” Bruce fiddled with his tablet and then presented it to Thor. “I downloaded the e-book. It’s a story, not a manual. But I think you should think about the moral of the story. I found the Spark Notes as well; you should read that after.”

Thor nodded his thanks.


	7. Chapter 7

Thor was pleased to see new faces among those who came for the second talks, hoping an agreement could be made on how to guard the Infinity Stones. He smiled and nodded to his cousin as she took her seat. He had visited Vanaheim two weeks ago to see how the Asgardians fared and what disputes he needed to settle. He had found them enjoying the hospitality of their hosts and behaving as was expected of guests. The Valkyrie had deftly diffused any small matters of contention, and she had dismissed Thor’s gratitude with a wave. 

“You should see the spoiled toadies surrounding The Grandmaster,” she had said with a snort. 

He had also consulted with his uncle over the proposal he would present at the talks should an alternative fail to be offered. His uncle had been pleased with the proposal, commenting on how he could see his late sister’s influence in the matter. Thor had smiled and kept mum that it had been Loki’s suggestion (his brother had insisted), which had then been further refined through discussion with his friends. They had elected Thor to present the plan, as they had either witnessed or been informed of his ability to sway the assembly.

As the talks commenced, several regions proposed containment of the Stones within their region’s stronghold and a guardianship by small groups or by a committee. This was fiercely contested, especially by Quill and Rocket, who cited the damage suffered by the Nova Corps when it was given safe-keeping of the Power Stone and the suffering their population still endured as they rebuilt their capital. The Stones posed a risk to civilians if kept among them.

The regional representative who insisted on a militant solution was shouted into submission and prohibited from the bid for guardianship once a plan was agreed upon. 

Others brought forth their ideas, but these, too, involved a form of guardianship by one particular territory and were, therefore, also dismissed.

Captain Danvers (Carol had finally revealed her surname to Thor to stop him from referring to her as “the Lady Carol”) then informed those gathered that Thor wished to propose a plan of guardianship. 

Thor intook a breath and stood. Having practised his prepared speech under Loki’s tutelage, he detailed the proposal that each Stone be kept on a separate, uninhabited planet in a neutral zone between three nations closest to one another. These nations would each send representatives to guard the Stone, for a period of a half-year, after which another three nations would be given the opportunity. This cycle of guardianship would continue until each nation assembled (barring those who had forfeited the right) had had the chance of guardianship of one of the Stones. The nations would then send representatives once more to this location to vote on those sets of three who would become the permanent guardians. The guardianship would need annual renewal, as agreed upon by vote. If legitimate reasons were brought forth as to continued competence, a new trio would be voted as replacements. Guardian duty could, of course, be withdrawn if the three nations cited hardships in fulfillment. Replacements would, again, be found by consensus.

As the group silently mulled over the proposal, Thor claimed the right as Defeater of Thanos to place a protective layer of lightning about each Stone as his means of being alerted should they ever be wielded in defiance of universal accord that they never be weaponized, even in defence. Out of the corner of his eye, Thor saw Natasha beaming and Rocket raise his thumb to him at this statement, for he had not disclosed it while he had discussed the proposal upon Midgard. His Loki pendant hummed in pleasant surprise.

Not wishing to face yet another council-like debate, Thor told the crowd to return to their people and seek their thoughts on the proposal. Another month would be given before they re-convened and finalized plans.

Thor had barely finished his sip of refreshment when the knock sounded. He opened the cabin door to a frowning Nebula. 

Nebula activated a device that emitted a vibrational sound. “To stop the eavesdroppers,” she explained. She then glared at Thor. “I want the truth: is Loki alive?”

“He is not. You were present when I told of his… his death at the hands of Thanos.”

“I don’t believe you. He’s faked his death before. I’ve also heard _that_ story.”

“Why are you insistent that he is alive?”

“Because this idea _reeks_ of him. Don’t forget that he and I have spent time together. I’ve seen how he tried to bargain for his life.”

Thor winced. “I wish my brother _were_ alive. He was always my superior at such negotiations. There was the one time he put forth an argument so strong that the council did not even grumble when my father decreed his idea be put into motion.”

Nebula still appeared sceptical. Thor continued. “I… I do not deny that Loki has been integral to the creation of the plan. I tried to imagine what he might think were he presented with this problem of needing to not destroy the Stones and yet ensuring that they cannot ever be gathered and misused. And as you saw, the plan was not complete when I presented it to our friends; you, too, had a hand in refining it.”

Nebula stared at Thor silently for such a long period of time that Thor began to wonder what next he must say to prevent her from discovering the truth. Finally, to his relief, she nodded. 

“It is a good idea. Let’s just hope everyone else thinks so, too.” She turned and left without a backward glance.


	8. Chapter 8

On a fine Monday morning, Thor awoke, blinked away the last vestiges of sleep, and smiled. He brought forth his pendant, pressed a kiss, and said, softly, “Many happy returns of the day, brother.” His smile broadened when the diaphanous form emerged and grinned. “I thank thee, brother.” It brought a hand to Thor’s cheek, and both gasped when the touch could be felt, if but lightly.

Incorporeal Loki pressed a kiss and the pair spent the next several minutes thus occupied.

Mid-morning, Natasha found Thor sprawled in the window niche, staring across the city skyline. The floor was littered with empty bottles.

“Thor… hey.”

“Natasha!” Thor boomed. He proffered the half-emptied bottle in his unsteady hand. “Join me!” He hiccoughed.

Natasha accepted the bottle, although she did not drink of its contents. “Everything okay, Thor? We didn’t see you at breakfast, so I thought I’d—”

“Ah! Is it that time already? Has the good captain provided us with his lovely pancakes? Cannot miss those!” He made to stand but slid and fell amidst the glassware. The floor gave a soft groan and he laughed. “I do not believe I can walk. Please ask the captain to reserve a plate for me and I shall join you presently.”

“Thor, why are you drinking so early in the day?”

“Ah! ’Tis the day of Loki’s birth! I was celebrating with him! It has been some years since we have been able to observe it.”

“Yeah, ok, sure… um, Happy Birthday to your brother, I guess…”

“It is not the ideal celebration, for he is yet without physical form, but his less insubstansiveness is cause for joy! Perhaps on this day of the next year, we may properly embrace him. Come! If the mead is not to your liking, then you must prepare one of your choosing. We will toast to a happy return one day!”

Natasha stared for a brief moment before heading toward the drinks cabinet and pouring herself a glass. She sat gingerly down upon the window seat, placed a gentle hand on Thor’s shoulder, and said, “It’s okay to miss him today bu—”

Thor’s smile faded. “I do miss him. When we were young, he was forbidden to hide himself on this day. We would head out into the market or to Vanaheim in search of adventure. Mother always prepared a purse of gold coins and had it placed in the pocket of my travelling cloak. Loki’s favourite treat were the delicate ices the vendor at the corner sold. And because we were the princes, they made way for us to choose whichever flavour my brother fancied.” He sighed. “I did not see the vendor among the Asgardians who escaped from Asgard. Alas, I shall have to seek a new one among your shops. Perhaps you could recommend one?”

“I’m not really one for sweets, but I’ll ask around.”

“It will be a great kindness. I thank thee, my lady.”

“Wow, you’re really drunk, Thor. Don’t think I’ve ever been called that by you.”

“Indeed? Then I have been remiss. I greatly admire your grace and courage. You have made such strides to undo your wrongs… would that Loki could emanate you. Perhaps then he would believe that he is not less deserving. A shadow, that is what he claimed he was. And I have not found the means to disabuse him of it.” He glanced up at her with an unfocussed gaze. “How must I prove that he is worthy?”

Natasha remained silent for several minutes, wearing an inscrutable look. At length, she said, “This is something that Clint and Laura told me, and I sometimes still have trouble believing it: it’s okay to have done bad things, as long as you realize that it was wrong. You need to atone for it. And the first step in asking others to forgive you is to forgive yourself.”

Thor blinked. “Those are wise words indeed.” He shook his head. “Then I must first atone for the wrongs that I and our father inflicted upon him. He would not have found such a path had we not caused him grievous harm.”

“Well, you’d be setting a good example. That’s what Clint did. He never engaged or retaliated whenever I lashed out. I was lucky that he was my handler when I agreed to join S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“How came you to change your alliances?”

Natasha sighed. “During one of my missions, I was sent to assassinate a high-ranking official in his summer home. I wasn’t told that his kids were with him. I… I’d just left his office… His daughter saw me. She didn’t scream for help, but she asked if I was her new bodyguard. She… she looked so much like my friend Irina—the same age when we started training, back in that Soviet compound. Sh-she died during her first solo mission. I vowed then that no more young girls would be taken from their families and molded into weapons.” She took a sip from her glass.

Thor looked solemn. “I would gladly assist you in your endeavour, should you have need of me.”

“Thanks, I’ll keep you posted.”

He nodded. “Brother, I shall earn your pardon so that you may find pardon.” He patted his chest. He suddenly began snoring.

When he awoke hours later, the sun had begun setting. He looked about in initial confusion before his hand knocked away an empty bottle and he was reminded of the enlightening conversation with Natasha.

*~*~*~*

A knock sounded on the door to Thor’s chambers. He ushered Dr Strange into his rooms and bade him to be seated.

Strange ignored his invitation. “Banner says you want to resurrect your brother from the dead? Are you out of your mind?”

“Loki is not a threat to Midgard. He broke his enthrallment and gave of his life to stop Thanos.”

“How can you be so sure? You said so yourself that he’s the God of Lies and Mischief.”

“It is true that he often employs such methods when he has been threatened or he seeks to gain for his own ends, but my brother is not without honour. If he truly wished to betray us, he would have joined with Thanos.”

“You know, Thor, we only have your version of what happened out there in space. Banner wasn’t there to witness after he was flung back to Earth to warn us.”

Thor paled but after a moment of hesitation, touched a finger to his brow and said, “I am willing to show you my memory of… of Loki’s death, if you require such proofs.”

Strange raised a brow and stepped forward, palm raised. Thor submitted to the touch. When the memory had been viewed, tears marred his face, his expression one of pain.

Strange stepped back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—” His cloak interrupted by levitating its hem to wipe away the tears and express sorrow through a caress. 

“I thank thee for thy kindness,” Thor said to the cloak. It gave a gesture of embarrassment before subsiding.

The Sorcerer Supreme and the God of Thunder stared at one another in uncomfortable silence.

Finally, Thor said, “Please. He has atoned for his misdeeds. Allow me to atone for those that my father and I have wrought upon him.”

Strange sighed but nodded. “All right. But know that if he poses a threat, I won’t hesitate to neutralize him. He’ll wish he were only falling through a time loop.”

Thor nodded his understanding. “You may hold me accountable for his behaviour.”

Strange raised a brow. “Then you’d better find a way to tether him to you because unless you make it so he’s never out of sight, you being accountable for any misdeeds of his is empty talk.”

Thor growled. “Loki is not some animal to be caged or bound. I trust him with my life.”

“Yeah, but can the rest of us?”

“I will vouch for him and gladly forfeit my life if I am proven mistaken in my trust. I shall swear an oath upon any object of power of your choosing in assurance. Know that to break an oath is the greatest shame an Aesir can bring upon himself and his house.”

They stared at one another for an interminable time. Finally, Strange sighed and said, “Fine. Wong tells me that bringing a person back to life creates the bond of a life debt, and any ingratitude has consequences. I _will_ find some magical oath to formalize your promise.”

He turned and exited the room.

*~*~*~*

Thor was preparing to break his fast when Bruce entered the kitchen area.

“Oh, Thor, I was just coming to find you. Listen, um—” Bruce glanced at the others seated at the table and then whispered, “I found a few books that might interest you, um, for that project you’re working on.” He placed the stack of books next to Thor’s plate. The titles stated their contents regarding reptilian animals, human physiology, genetics and reproduction, and electromagnetism. “These, um, are geared toward grade school kids, but I think you might find them useful.”

“I am grateful for your efforts, Banner. I would not have known which texts to consult in my quest, and I shall endeavour to study them. My old tutor would have been pleased to see me finally enhance my book-learning.”

“Yeah, I guess you would’ve been more of the jock type. But hey, never too late to learn!”

“Indeed.”


	9. Chapter 9

Thor was awaiting Clint when he stepped into the Facility, having spent the last two hours training the new class of recruits on improving their aim with a bow and arrow. He looked exhausted although not disheartened. He smiled at Thor. “Hey, Thor! What’s up?”

“I wish to atone for Loki’s ill-treatment of you while enthralled to Thanos,” Thor responded without preamble. He briefly told of his purpose for atonement and of his intent to revive Loki. Clint, naturally, protested against the scheme, but Thor spoke earnestly of Loki’s role in Ragnarok to save the Asgardians from enslavement and how Loki had sacrificed himself to save Thor from Thanos’ wrath. Thor hesitated briefly but chose to reveal Loki’s presence and role in the defeat of Thanos. Clint stared in stunned amazement, for Thor had not revealed this to the other Avengers except Banner. Thor pressed on. “My brother prizes intelligence above all else and freedom for independent thought and inquiry is inviolable to him. Even when he perpetrated malicious mischief on another, he never used control of the mind as the means. Had he been of sound mind, he would never have thus subjugated you.”

Clint paused in the corridor and eyed Thor for several long moments. Finally, he gave a brief nod. “Okay. I guess everyone should get a second chance if they want to redeem themselves. Hell, we let _the Winter Soldier_ join the team.”

“I thank thee, my friend. Be assured that you do Loki a great kindness.”

“Hey, Thor, I gotta ask: why are _you_ atoning on his behalf? I mean, it’s very decent of you, and I know you think he hung the moon and all, but atoning by proxy… it’s not really how it’s supposed to work, you know?”

Thor nodded. “I assure you that upon his return, Loki would wish to perform his own acts of reparation. However, there is much that I owe him… that our family owe to him for years of deception. If it is in my power to ensure that the team look upon his return more favourably, I would gladly do so.”

Clint blinked. “I hope Loki appreciates what a great brother he has.”

“He has been a better one to me, although I had not acknowledged this until these recent years of estrangement.” Thor sighed. “I have twice watched him die before my eyes. I cannot… cannot…”

Clint gripped Thor’s shoulder in commiseration. “Listen, Thor, I’ll have to think about what you can do… as the atonement thing. I’ll get back to you?”

“Of course. Thank you, my friend.”

Two days later, Clint approached him with his request: to assist his wife with tending her garden and performing household chores requiring more strength than she possessed. 

The first evening, Thor fell into exhausted sleep but was awoken some time in the night. He felt muffled weeping against the crook of his neck and he willed his hand to soothe along Loki’s back. The weeping stuttered, and Loki raised his head, his cheeks tear-stained. Loki kissed him and prevented Thor from asking wherefore.

With a hair’s-breath distance finally between their lips, Thor murmured, “ _Hjarta minn?_ ” But Loki shook his head and pressed more kisses, only pausing to whisper “ _Elskr_ ” again and again. 

They fell asleep with Loki draped across Thor’s chest. He was nestled into his safehold by his brother’s heart come morning.

Thor spent an enjoyable week at the Barton residence and insisted on remaining for another. Clint formally deemed Thor’s first undertaking completed when he reported upon the abundance of the crop that Thor had planted and nurtured. The Lady Barton assured that never had she achieved such success and looked forward to the harvest. Thor offered his services for the reaping. Clint beamed.

Thor next approached Stark with his request to atone on behalf of Loki. Stark, too, asked pointed questions on the wisdom of reviving Loki, but he then immediately put Thor to task by having him assist in the laboratory to discover Thor’s capabilities. While manoeuvring electronic devices beyond basic usage was as yet unattainable by Thor, he astonished Stark with his honed motor skills in assembling and disassembling the various mechanical machines and equipment. For amusement, Stark had Thor use his lightning to restore full power to his devices, although it took two attempts to build the correct conduit, as Thor’s powers had rendered the original bits of wire useless, even damaging the functional internal components of the device itself. Stark was heard muttering of the ease of building an arc reactor if he had had Thor’s powers at the start. 

And thus, between his readings on the best method to restore Loki’s body, Thor found himself pleasantly occupied assisting his friends. He joined Captain Rogers and Barnes in different public kitchens in neighbouring cities, preparing and serving meals to the poor. When Erik Selvig realized that Thor’s grasp of physics was too rudimentary to assist in his research, he also made use of Thor’s powers to test the viability of his various detection instruments. While doing so, Thor was pleased to learn he had assisted Selvig in conducting an independent proof of the existence of a fundamental universal particle called the Higgs Boson. 

While he expected Barton to be the most resistant to the thought of Loki once more among the living, Thor was unsurprised that Strange would demand the most onerous act of atonement. As Strange had sworn to not utilize the Time Stone while the fate of all the Infinity Stones was as yet undecided, he struggled to find an alternate means of fulfilling his role as Midgard’s protector. Thor became a conduit for Strange, who used Thor’s innate _seiðr_ to build and control detectors and a network of alert signals. These detectors would harness power from both the sun and rainstorm-produced lightning to remain functional. Strange extracted Thor’s promise to further maintain the detectors through an annual gift of his powers to its stores.

Others of the team did not require Thor’s penance and their doubts as to his quest ranged from mildly sceptical to strongly suspicious, although, in the end, none forbade Thor from fulfilling his desire; they even showed a generosity of spirit in assuring that they would not hold Loki accountable for instigating the Chitauri invasion. Thor deliberately did not approach Fury.

Having completed his task, Thor spent an evening gazing at the stars and downing a few bottles of Midgardian mead from the land of Sweden. When he was finally abed, he received an appearance by Loki. He beamed. 

Loki lay beside Thor, his head propped against his hand, and with glistening eyes silently gazed at his brother for a long while. Thor’s smile did not falter, but his eyes soon took on an expression of longing. 

Finally, Loki sighed and said, “How should I repay you for these acts of atonement?”

“ _Hjarta minn_ , I did not perform them in expectation of repayment. It is owed to you.”

Loki shook his head. “Whatever Father’s intentions when he took me from the temple and chose to hide my true identity until I confronted him, I have made my peace. You need not make amends. As for your own supposed reparations, they are naught against my own transgressions. It was I who led the Jötnar into the vault on the day of your coronation. It was I who goaded you into entering Jötenheim to quarrel with Laufey. It was I who made you believe my demise upon Svartalfheim.” He lowered his eyes and said softly, “It was _I_ who refused your hand as we dangled precariously from the Rainbow Bridge.”

Thor grasped Loki’s free hand, gave a pleased murmur at the ability to hold it securely within his palm, and moved to caress Loki’s cheek. “You gave your life to spare my own. And you swore to _me_. Let us cease tallying the misdeeds of our past. When you are fully returned to the realm of the living, we will start anew, leaving any regrets in the past.”

“Very well.” Loki stared at Thor, although his thoughts were elsewhere. Thor contently brushed his thumb across his brother’s cheekbone.

When he was present once more, Loki suddenly grinned, eyes glinting. “Henceforth, you are thus forbidden from discussing the mischiefs I visited upon you to your friends, as you did aboard the Commodore.”

Thor chuckled and brought Loki’s palm to his lips. 

Loki smoothed Thor’s shorn locks. “Now, you must sleep, _elskr_.” He waited until his brother succumbed to repose before returning to the pendant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if online sources are to be believed:
> 
> elskr = “beloved”  
> hjarta minn = “my heart, my love”


	10. Chapter 10

As Nebula’s spaceship landed and its engine shut, it was soon surrounded. But when the hatch opened, an unexpected face appeared.

“Gamora!” Quill gasped as she flung herself into his arms and burst into tears. Finally, Drax took her into his arms and carried her inside, Groot and Rocket forcing a path.

When eventually she felt well enough to tell her story, Gamora told in trembling voice to her astonished audience of how Thanos had sacrificed her to obtain the Soul Stone and of how Nebula had returned to Vormir, sacrificing herself as her bargain to return Gamora to the living and, in the process, permanently inactivating the Stone’s powers. It and Nebula’s absorbed body were sealed within an impenetrable, transparent barrier of solid ice. And as she left the planet, Gamora saw Vormir transform into a transparent, diamond-bright glowing sphere, of which light obscured the colour of the Stone at its centre.

The ensuing stunned silence was finally broken by Vision, who said quietly, “Love is such a marvel.” There was a murmur of agreement. Mantis hugged Gamora, her antennae twitching in anxious desire to soothe. 

“So,” Natasha said in her pragmatic voice, “that’s one less bothersome Stone to have to deal with. Not that it’ll make it any easier to reach an agreement on who’s gonna get the remaining ones, but I like that no more sacrifices are needed to be made to this one.”

“Yeah, that’s just wrong,” Sam said.

Thor absently rubbed his hand against his heart and where the pendant was hidden. He agreed that sacrificing to such an unfeeling object was wrong, but sacrificing one’s life for a loved one…

Tony cleared his throat. “So, who wants to tell the rest of the universe?”

*~*~*~*

After the evening’s repast, the group gathered as was habit in the spacious sitting room. At first, Thor joined in the light conversation, but as the evening wore on, he lapsed into brooding silence. He was sat across from Gamora and Quill, and he became increasingly forlorn as he observed them clasping hands and sharing intimate smiles and caresses. When the pair made their excuses and retired for the night, Thor felt the need for air and made his way to the rooftop.

He stood surprised upon the landing. Steve Rogers was sat upon the edge looking at the stars. Thor realized that Rogers had not been among them since their evening meal.

He cleared his throat to announce his presence. “Do I intrude upon your solitude?”

Steve turned his head. “It’s okay, Thor. I don’t mind the company if it’s yours.”

Thor sat beside him. When Steve offered no conversation, he hesitated a moment before saying, “You are troubled.”

Steve sighed. “I’m okay. Gamora’s story just brought back some memories, you know, of when I was buried underneath the ice…”

Thor gently touched his shoulder. “I cannot fathom—feel you still the coldness? Or perhaps there are remnants of pain?”

“No, it’s not that. I just… feel bad for Nebula. It’s a living death, with no chance of ever being rescued. I was lucky: even if they hadn’t come looking, they’d eventually have found me. If not by shipwreck enthusiasts, then just all this global warming would eventually have unearthed me. But she can’t _ever_ escape that prison, not unless someone worse than Thanos wants to deliberately destroy the entire universe.”

Thor nodded. “It is indeed the most profound of sacrifices for all life. Were she of Asgard, there would be ballads sung of her deeds and tales to make her legend.”

“You know, that’s not a bad idea. We should tell her story to every place in the universe with living beings, so they know and never let the memory of her fade. In a way, she’ll always be alive.”

“Should I reach Valhalla, I too shall tell her story so that she may find the eternity she has been denied.”

“What’s Valhalla?” Steve listened as Thor told of the realm beyond death. “Wow, that’s a very different concept of eternal life from what I was taught.” Thor was careful to not show astonishment at the austere nature of Heaven. His sole comment was “It is good that those who have achieved merit should be honoured with continued, peaceful existence for eternity” and ignored the slight vibrational snort that emitted from his hidden pendant.

After a moment of companionable silence, Thor suddenly asked, “You have slept under ice for a Midgardian lifetime. Have you found… wisdom through your ordeal?”

Steve huffed a laugh. “I dunno about wisdom. It sure took some getting used to, this brave new world I woke up in. I don’t miss the war, but I definitely miss the quiet from my day. It’s so _noisy_ here, all these gadgets and electrical appliances and lights and the traffic twenty-four hours a day. And people are so out of touch with nature. We used to follow the cycles of the sun and the seasons. I lived during The Great Depression, and there was always a shortage of food, but the farmers still tried to plant in the spring and harvest in the fall. Now, you can get anything at any time through the year. It’s… confusing.

“But I guess, despite everything, I’ve really learned to appreciate this lucky second chance. Every day is a bonus for me. I get to use it to do some good. I don’t think I’ll ever fit into this world, not fully, but I will never complain about all the benefits and opportunities I’m getting; I’ve seen more of the planet—and now other planets!—in the past few years as part of The Avengers than I did my whole life before the crash. There’s so much information available through the internet if you want to learn about something. And I’ve made some great friends.” He turned his head to smile at Thor. Thor returned the compliment. “Sorry, I’m rambling. In short: live life to the fullest. Make every day count.” He paused and chuckled. “Man, I sound like some cheesy inspirational poster.”

“You are too modest, my friend. If these words are not wisdom, then the wise are indeed all fools.”

*~*~*~*

The Princess Shuri beamed when she was introduced to Gamora through the video conferencing screen that had been set up. “It worked, then!” she exclaimed, and she began searching the faces of the gathered crowd behind Gamora. Her effusion disappeared when informed of Nebula’s fate. Mumbling around the hand that tried to contain her sobs, she said, “Oh, had I’d realized it was a suicide mission, I would not have given her the Stone!”

When asked how she managed to bypass the added enchantments, she admitted rather shamefaced that she had perfected the use of an electromagnetic vibrational device that could nullify magics on a small scale as those placed about the Stone. Strange huffed away in annoyance. Banner and Stark insisted on a demonstration when next they met. Thor shook his head and commented, with a slight grin, that he would have to ensure that she and Loki never spend too much time together: the resulting mischief would be catastrophic.

As they said their goodbyes, Natasha commented that the sooner the Stones were out of their hands, the better. There were murmurs of agreement.


	11. Chapter 11

There was a collective gasp of astonishment—and a smattering of applause—when Gamora informed the assembly of nations of Nebula’s sacrifice and the subsequent inactivation of the Soul Stone. She pointedly told of the impossibility of gathering the powers of all the Stones to affect the fate of the universe, for nefarious purposes or otherwise. She then suggested that they finalize plans for guardianship of the remaining Stones. There was unanimous agreement to adopt Thor’s proposal.

Natasha then spoke of the need for architects, engineers, and other technical experts from the different realms to gather and discuss the structures that would need to be built to protect and store the Stones and to house the honour guard. It was agreed that this location would continue to serve as headquarters for the plan’s implementation. 

Tony and Shuri were chosen as representatives of Midgard, and Steve was once again resigned to informing all of Midgard in a press conference. He stood his ground at the United Nations, which, after some face-saving protestations, submitted to the plan. They were, in any case, unable to propose substitutes, Tony and Shuri having already left Midgard under the care of the Guardians and Captain Marvel.

As the plans progressed, there came the day when the countries of Midgard agreed to the nomination of five people, each representing their continent, who would be trained through a joint-nation astronaut program and sent to be the honour guard. The program would continue to operate through international cooperation so that others could be trained to replace the initial five. In a move that amused his friends and frustrated the politicians, Fury managed to install a veto into the program’s operations if The Avengers disagreed with the choice of candidates and the training they would undergo. 

Loki had laughed until he choked.

*~*~*~*

“Dr Strange, might I have a word with you in private?”

Strange turned and gestured toward an empty office off the corridor. When the door clicked shut, he placed a spell about the room. He then nodded for Thor to proceed.

“Now that we have formed a plan to safeguard the Stones and one has been rendered useless, do you have further qualms regarding my revival of my brother?”

Strange raised a brow. “I thought you were ploughing ahead, regardless of what I think.”

“I would still wish reassurance that you will not interfere… nor feel justified in imprisoning my brother once he has been revived.”

“You gave your word he’d behave.”

“And I am ready to make any oath you require.”

“That won’t be necessary.” At Thor’s astonishment, he clarified: “I’ll take Loki’s oath instead. Now, if he’ll deign to grace us with his presence...” Strange stared pointedly at Thor’s chest.

Loki’s wispy head soon unfurled from Thor’s bosom. With raised brow, he said, “And what oath could the God of Lies and Mischief give that would satisfy your scruples, oh grandiose one?”

“The one upon your brother’s life and well-being that you’ll neither harm nor bring harm to Earth—Midgard—and its people, as long as you live.”

Loki scoffed. “Well played, Strange. Aye, I do so avow, upon Thor’s life, to never cause nor be the cause of harm to Midgard and its inhabitants for the duration of my life in this realm.”

“I’d prefer it be the rest of your life, regardless of the realm.”

Loki chuckled. “Very good, sorcerer. For the entirety of my life, then. Do you also require this be sealed in blood?”

“No, thanks. I’ve got both your word and Thor’s. I’m sure you Asgardians have some sort of punishment you’ll inflict on yourselves if you recant. Or something.” Strange huffed in bemusement as Loki gave a mock bow and faded from view. 

Thor looked at him with a strange light in his eyes. “I thank thee for permitting me to fulfill my desire. The Sorcerer Wong told me of your defiance of your laws to return him to life after he fell at the hands of Kaecilius.”

Strange looked taken aback but quickly recovered. He shrugged. “He’s your brother and the only family you’ve got left. I get it.”

“He was an unfortunate casualty, as was Wong. And, as you say, he is my family.”

“Tell me: would you really have come up with that plan to monitor the Stones if you didn’t have Loki whispering in your ear?”

Thor laughed. “No, indeed, and certainly not within such a short time period. And may I ask, for my brother would be too reluctant to do so, how you discovered his whereabouts? Our mother used to comment that his warding spells were unparalleled.”

“Oh, I didn’t see any magic leaking from your chest, if that’s what you mean. You just developed a subconscious habit of rubbing your chest whenever you defended your brother to us or during those times you were lost in thought, presumably thinking about him.”

Thor grinned ruefully. “I see. My brother will tell you I have always failed at dissembling.”

“Well, in your defense, it’s your forthrightness that convinced the rest of the universe to agree to your plan, so there’s some merit in honesty.”

With a nod and a smile, he departed the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can’t stand it anymore: i’m really offended by the “no beta we die like men” tag. do men handle death and mortality better? given the typical attitude toward seeking expert medical advice for potentially serious illnesses, i’d say F* NO! if there’s anything worse than patriarchal misogynistic oppression, it’s internalized patriarchal misogyny. stop the women-bashing!


	12. Chapter 12

Thor smiled broadly as he headed toward the privacy of his bedchambers. Stark and the Princess Shuri had returned to Midgard for a brief visit and to collect supplies needed to continue designing and constructing the containers that would hold the Stones and prevent their theft. The Princess’ ability to break the enchantments surrounding the Soul Stone became a challenge among her fellow collaborators to fashion an impenetrable casing. Both Stark and the Princess had reassured their friends that the project progressed well.

Bolstered by their news, Thor thought on his quest. He must examine his progress and finally jot down the responses he had acquired to Loki’s questions. As he had read through the books supplied by Banner, he had understood, for the first time, Loki’s love of books and knowledge. There was inherent satisfaction in learning information of value. He chuckled as he thought on his completed perusal of that story Banner had lent him of Frankenstein and his quest to create a living being. He had noted similarities between Frankenstein and Loki: their often single-minded pursuit of a purpose, their ability to shun all and sundry while in said pursuit, their self-loathing in the face of failure, their isolation from their own people because of their cleverness. Thor shook his head, gnawed once more by the guilt of pride and vanity that had blinded him to Loki’s sufferings. 

The pendant hummed with disapproval. Thor huffed. Ever was Loki able to know his thoughts. He willed his morose musings aside and looked over his notes. He had thus far approached the Queen Mother, Banner, and Eir for answers regarding the nature of a man, and he had, therefore, found the requisite three. But as to the other two questions, he frowned as he envisioned the faces of his friends in an attempt to decide on the most suitable. 

As Captain Rogers’ face flashed in his mind, he paused. He realized that the Captain had inadvertently answered the question of life and death during their rooftop conversation subsequent Gamora’s resurrection. Thor gasped as he discovered that he had also been similarly supplied answers through conversations with T’Challa and Strange. He smiled: the Norns were showing favour.

It did not take him long to also conclude that he had found responses to the question regarding love through adversity, for surely Nebula’s conflicted love of Thanos and Natasha’s ability to forgive herself for her wrongdoings were sufficient proof that love indeed emerged victorious amidst strife and suffering.

As to the third person to answer the question of love, Thor had known from the start of his quest that he need not approach another. _He_ could supply the response. Had he and Loki not sustained their love despite estrangement, grief, betrayal, and misfortune? Pressing a hand to his heart, he briefly wondered and then felt assured that Loki had _intended_ that Thor be one of the three to answer the third question. _My impertinent brother._

Thor felt a sudden impulse to see his brilliant, infuriating brother, so he brought forth the pendant and called, softly, “Loki.”

His beloved emerged and sat upon the desk, staring expectantly down at him. 

Thor gestured to the piles of strewn papers and said, “I have found my answers. I need only think on the materials that best reflect the knowledge I have gained and then I will have all that I require to build you a body.”

Loki beamed and clasped Thor’s head between his hands. “My clever brother! Too many, including I, have dismissed you as merely a warrior, of brute strength and courage but possessing little in the way of wit and wisdom.”

Thor blushed. “Nay, always have you been the clever one. Through this quest, I have understood your love of knowledge. I now comprehend those long hours you spent in the library devouring books and scrolls and dusty tomes. If only there had been time to salvage those precious volumes before Asgard fell to Sartur.”

Loki smiled wistfully. “Indeed. However, not all is lost. You observed the books in Eir’s possession. I, too, have kept a small store of precious volumes that can be retrieved. Sufficient numbers of Asgardians have survived and, with them, memories of the past, of stories passed down through the ages, of identity still available for recording and sharing. Once you have established a new home for them, have the scribes and bards build a new library.”

“I shall leave such a monumental task to you, brother.”

Loki’s smile faltered and he looked with solemnity at Thor. “While I do not doubt your success in reviving me, know that I will never blame you in the event of failure. The method is of my own devising and thus untried. Even if I must remain in this form, know that I would be satisfied. I would still share in your life.”

“But I would not be so satisfied. I will not shy from seeking every possible aid in this quest, even if I must attempt it again and again until I achieve success. The Norns have shown favour thus far; surely your sacrifice cannot be for naught.”

“The Norns are indifferent. They care only that the natural order be maintained, that any prophecy be fulfilled. The wishes of ones such as we are of no more importance to them than a wolf’s desire to stave hunger.”

“You have thus far twice defied death. I intend to honour such bravery by showing you how much I love you for the rest of our lives.”

“Sentimental fool,” Loki said fondly. Thor pressed as deep a kiss as he could against a glowing palm. Loki sighed. “I first devised this quest as a means of providing purpose: I knew that once you defeated Thanos and the Stones were safeguarded, you would be left with too much time to grieve your losses. Even the founding of a new Asgard and engaging in petty battles with your friends would be insufficient to occupy you.”

Thor looked saddened. “Then, you do not expect me to succeed.”

“No, no, _elskr_ , I merely doubt the efficacy of the method. Although, as I journeyed with you on this quest, my desire for success has grown. And one thing I have learned from the Midgardians is that determination and will can count as much for advancement toward victory as strategy and cunning. But I suppose you have always known this, having triumphed so often in battle.”

“So, you admit that these Midgardians are not so foolish and uncouth as you initially thought?”

Loki huffed. Thor laughed and brought his arms about his brother’s waist, burrowing his forehead into the soft abdomen. Loki threaded light fingers through the shorn locks.

“I cannot wait for the day I may once again see you come apart in my arms, _hjarta minn_ ,” Thor murmured. 

For once, Loki did not have a droll rejoinder.

*~*~*~*

Banner had long reserved a room in the Facility wherein Thor could execute his quest. The materials purchased in accordance with Eir’s list were sat patiently to one side. As Thor pondered his collected responses, he had created a new list of supplies. Banner had raised both brows at certain items but had merely sat and done a quick calculation before sending off for the requisite amounts.

Meanwhile, Thor had traversed to Jötenheim and, after much argument and finally emerging victorious in single combat against their champion, had been permitted to retrieve a large block of ice. He had then ventured into Muspelheim, protected by Loki’s _seiðr_ , and acquired a jar of molten lava. 

Once returned to his workshop, Thor began sculpting Loki’s form from the block of ice, using a chisel gifted by Eitri and the lava to smooth jagged edges. He then combined his lightning with a small amount of lava to form a hollow within so that the remaining materials could be imbued. 

When finally he was satisfied with the shape of his sculpture, Thor reviewed the instructions from Banner on the process of infusing the gaseous materials into the hollow centre. As predicted, the ice was sufficiently cold that the gases contracted and sank to the bottom of the now supine form upon the makeshift bed. Thor then added the remaining materials: a revived butterfly larva emerging from its cocoon, sprigs of hensbane (used both as a poison and in healing) and bristlecone pine (for immortality), two raven feathers, a strip of chameleon skin, the remains of the first vegetables harvested from the Lady Barton’s garden not rendered into soup, and the contents of a small bottle containing Thor’s tears. Finally, he took up the lock of hair and placed it within the sculpture. He sealed the opening. He affixed the empty pendant atop the location of the sculpture’s heart. 

Taking a deep breath, he stepped back a half-pace and called his lightning. As the sparks glowed and joined across his palm, he pressed his hand against the pendant and watched the tendrils of dancing light spread across the surface of the ice before being ingrained. A glow of _seiðr_ spread from beneath the pendant and as Thor watched, the ice soon turned to flesh and the familiar features of his beloved emerged, although subtle changes were made to the existing flesh: a crease between the brows, the deepened lines of laughter by the eyes and mouth, an elongated scar across the torso in the place where a young Thor had unintentionally hurt his brother with his lightning, and other blemishes reminiscent of battles fought and won. Thor gasped when the body transformed into its female form; it required all his self-control to not stroke the smooth skin and soft curves that he had not touched in too long. Thor’s breathing came to a stuttered halt when the body transformed once again… into one of a deep blue, with ridged, intricately patterned skin. Thor choked back tears at this sign of trust. 

Finally, the body returned to the form and features most familiar to Thor. It began to breathe deeply. Thor hesitantly placed a hand to the spot where the pendant had been embedded and sobbed tears of joy to feel the steady heartbeat. 

Thor sat by the sleeping form and held Loki’s hand, patiently awaiting his brother to open his eyes.

When eventually Loki woke, he found Thor’s slumped form over their clasped hands. Smiling, he magicked them both to Thor’s bedchambers.

*~*~*~*

_Despite feeling the joy of climbing one of Idunn’s apple trees in pursuit of his more nimble brother, Thor paused as a niggling thought insisted that he had a task of more import to attend. As Loki called down for him to quicken his pace, he heard in the distance another call. It was Loki’s voice, or seemed to be, the sound carried on the wind._ Elskrrrrr…

Thor awoke. And found his arms cradling the most precious bundle of soft and warm flesh. He laughed and threaded his fingers into the silken black locks to tilt the beloved face upwards.

Their eyes met.

A lifetime later, Loki brushed a hand against Thor’s cheek and smiled as his brother brought it to his lips. His hand was then wrapped about the beloved head as he was brought closer and kissed and kissed and kissed until he felt light-headed and weightless as a hawk on the wing.

When finally they paused for breath, Loki grinned, holding in check his amusement, and said, “I have always reprimanded you for your lack of observation. But it seems you are observant enough: except for some slight adjustments needed to perfectly fit into this new body, it feels exactly as I remember. You are to be commended, of course, for your skills in carving my cock, the only part that needed no alteration.”

“Given the number of times that I have been intimate with it, I should hope I know its exact dimensions. And if you have no objection, _hjarta minn_ , I would very much like to renew that acquaintance.”

Loki laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this could’ve used a beta, but i ain’t got one for my incest-verses. so, plot-holes and other mistakes are definitely my own.
> 
> only a tiny epilogue left.


	13. Chapter 13

A feeling of unease brought Thor out of deep slumber. He sat up in bed when he realized Loki was not beside him and looked about the room. His heartbeat slowed when he heard a soft cooing from the next room. He quietly crept toward it.

Thor smiled as he leaned against the doorframe of the nursery, his eyes following Loki as his beloved slowly paced about, speaking in soft tones. Loki was so absorbed in conversation with the babe that, for once, he failed to notice Thor’s presence.

Between soft, lingering kisses, he told the tiny creature in his arms, “I have never told your papa. You must keep mama’s secret. Oh, my sweet, you are the realization of the hope I have long held, even before there was a plan devised to challenge Thanos. My untimely demise had rather derailed our intent to strengthen our forces with Midgardian aid, but it is fortunate that your papa is well-versed in warfare, for having witnessed their warring capabilities, I am certain more lasting harm would have resulted should they have led the charge.” 

Loki nuzzled the soft cheek and the babe gurgled. “Yes, we would not now be here if Thanos were permitted to use the gauntlet. The stars smiled upon us when his greatest lieutenant, Ebony Maw, was defeated. It is an irony that the spiderling was the one to emerge victorious, but I am grateful. The hurts that Ebony Maw wrought upon your mama were deep, and many and varied were his methods. Had Thanos not been so impatient to acquire the Space Stone, with your mama as his vassal, Ebony Maw may have finally managed to wring my last secret from me: my Jötnar heritage and thus my viable womb.” He sighed, pressed a kiss, and continued. “I had successfully deflected knowledge of my deep bond with your papa by ceding my bitter resentments and jealousies regarding your papa’s successes in battle and your grandfather’s bestowment of the kingship upon him.” 

Loki paused to smooth the tuft of blond down as their son yawned. “That dark lieutenant was merciless in his mockery, and while I was under his thrall, I believed that I was but a mere shadow to your papa’s glory and radiance, that I knew only suffering and sorrow the whole of my life. I shudder to think what new torments he would have wrought had he ripped from me my last secret. He knew that I kept hidden something that would further my shame were he to discover it, but as such, it carries no taint from my mistreatment.” 

He held out a finger for the tiny hand to grasp. “No, I should say that it carries no further taint, for I long held resentment toward your grandfather for revealing the truth of my heritage in the manner that he did. During my imprisonment, I long brooded on how I would embody the monster that I was, how I would exact revenge upon Asgard, but those dark thoughts gave way in light of your grandmother’s untimely demise.” He kissed the tiny hand. “Whenever I thought on my heritage henceforth, it was in remembrance of her kindliness and loving care, not least in easing the agonies of my moonbloods, although I did not know what they were in my then ignorance.

“And so, my little love, when your papa and I were reunited and our bitter past gone aflame with Asgard’s destruction, I at last accepted my Jötunn form and vowed that it would not cause more sorrow. Alas that we were so soon torn asunder when Thanos found us. In that perilous moment when I knew I must die to spare your papa’s life, I also knew that I could not bear an afterlife alone. And so, I hoarded my powers to infuse the bit of armour with as much of my essence as I could spare and ensured it would adhere to your papa and protect him from further harm after Thanos departed with the Space Stone.

“Your papa restored my body, and now, you have healed my shattered soul. I vow that while I have breath, you shall suffer no hurts.”

Loki pressed another kiss, smiled as he gazed at the now sleeping babe, and, with some reluctance, carefully lowered him into his bassinet. 

Thor had meanwhile silently retreated and pretended unconsciousness when Loki finally eased into their bed. On the morrow, Thor would refuse all summons to fulfill his kingly duties, insisting on spending a quiet day with his loves settled snug in his embrace and lavished with kisses.

As Loki carefully settled into Thor’s embrace, he smiled into the crook of his _elskr_ ’s neck, certain that his secret—his dread of spending an eternity without Thor and thus his self-serving plan for resurrection—was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from Emily Dickinson’s “It’s all I have to bring today”
> 
> _It's all I have to bring today—_   
>  _This, and my heart beside—_   
>  _This, and my heart, and all the fields—_   
>  _And all the meadows wide—_   
>  _Be sure you count—should I forget_   
>  _Some one the sum could tell—_   
>  _This, and my heart, and all the Bees_   
>  _Which in the Clover dwell._


End file.
